| just because he "loves you too", he would never take a bullet for you |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|02:40 pm] |
| [ | Feelings of an almost human nature |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | ♥~*Love is better than a song*~♥ |
| | "My Slumbering Heart"- Rilo Kiley | ] |
right I should probably update this every once in a while haha
oh god . . . my painting, I will never ever finish that.
we had our intense group crit for art haha. Mrs. Rosoff mentioned something of mine I think she said "soft touch" or whatever.
today in art class they played "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Come on Eileen" ('cause Dave Hild insists on putting on the radio haha)
oh god . . . math test . . . why haha
doc serow has "something funny" to give me? haha I get it on friday I think. I'm pumped.
my room is disgusting, what a problem that's been this year
I have big plans for my roll of b & w film haha, but I'm so afraid my camera is broken haha. I'll just persevere and find out later.
I'm less than charmed with the musical.
I feel out of touch?
I found my Cibo Matto CD which is just, absolute bliss. Cibo Matto is wonderful.
and when at last I find you, your song will fill the air, sing it loud so I can hear you |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|05:48 pm] |
mm
italy was nice, though low key and I was pretty sick the whole time
I'll have pictures when I have money, which I dont and wont.
back to school
I really like school, so it's not a problem
I got my extremely sweet presents from Alex Levine. Who is a nice nice person.
Started "Grease" rehearsals. Oo. I dunno about all that.
Hung out with Levitz for a while afterschool. Went to African City and then eated pretzels. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|08:45 pm] |
News of the Day: I got deferred from Bard. Fun. I hate the way they tell you about things like that, when they say "Your best interests are at heart here. We took careful consideration when we made our decision. We sincerely evaluated your files." As if anyone hearing this news would think that. They may as well just tell you "Look, at this juncture, you are far too retarded to go here. Maybe, maybe if you show us something in the future and prove yourself worthy of us we'll think about it. Thanks. The Admissions Gods."
Apparently I sucked less at driving today. That's good.
The preppie Canadian hit on me again in Driver's Ed. The vending machine sent back my dollar and he came over and offered to give me a "better" dollar and I said that No, that was alright. Joe and Evan tootally schooled him haha. They were like "What, what you think your dollar is better than ours?? Well it's not. Sit down."
I don't know what to do about it. I can't say anything.
"It's a good thing that you float in the air. That way there's no way I will crush your pretty toenails into a thousand pieces." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Feelings of an almost human nature |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | ♥~*Love is better than a song*~♥ |
| | belle & sebastian - Tigermilk | ] |
yesterday levitz came over
and we wrote sweet some anti-Vancouver Marmot propaganda. if you want to see it just ask me and I'll send it to you. It's top notch.
We went to Kinkos and made 50 copies. I went to the bank and came to the harsh realization that you can't just take out however much money you want and pay the bank back eventually haha.
There was a long awkward time where we attempted to find something to eat. I kept leading us in the wrong direction. Or where we wanted to eat was closed. We settled on Lena's and distributed some propaganda at a nearby bar. The proportions at Lena's were ABSOLUTELY ridiculous haha. Eric's baked ziti could have eaten him, and because I couldn't get a calzone they gave me a huge vegetable stromboli and a piece of pizza. We ate out abundance of food and then continued on.
We distributed some flyers at Crown (the movie theatre) and then at Goldroc. Then we decided to go door to door. We went up to Alex Levine's house, talked to Dr. Levine, Alex showed me some of his beautiful artwork. He directed us toward Mrs. Kasprak's house and we went to visit her there. She lives on Wendy Lane, which is adorable. She was well, Nick was there, she appreciated our propaganda. I like how it's the duty of Kingswood teachers to support us in all our strange endeavors because we're moderately intelligent and polite haha.
WE went to Doc Serrow's house hahaha. Oh god, there were a few moments there where it was just us and Connie and we were just so frightened. At first he didn't really come to the door he just grumbled from the inside, then he let us in and called Doc down, and he was just yelling "Caesar" because that's her cats name, and talking about how the light was broken. We talked to her for a while. She talked to us about her new pair of UGGs and Dr. Levison.
Then I went to Driver's Ed, and the highlight was definitely getting hit on by the preppie guy.
I talked to Alex Levine on the phone.
Today I felt gross. I began organizing for college. I have a shit ton of work to do haha.
I had to do bring something to Charlie. I stopped by the Portuguese bakery which was absolutely delicious. Charlie and I hung out on Vanderbilt (the street) for a while, I tried to get on his bike, but it was a very sad attempt, he brushed my hair. We felt sketchy. Then he saw his friend and I ran away and helped me grandma cook lasagna.
My mommy made a pagan carrot cake for the solstice. That's the kind of mommy she is.
I don't love anyone |
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| a day most lovely |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|10:30 am] |
mmmm
so chris stoj came over around 1
we talked in my room for a bit, talked to my mommy etc.
then we went out and smoked haha, like practically in front of the small children, and I felt bad so I buried my piece in the snow and we left
haha I quickly discovered that I barely felt anything, but that he definitely did. we walked down to sovereign bank, he kept walking into the bushes, he pushed me into a bush yelling "pound", but claimed that he had just 'cause.
when we got there he stayed by the door and I made him come over to me haha. then we went to subway, and a total asshole cut chris in line, an old woman complimented my rain boots.
then we kept walking, we had to go to the other bank, the one in hartford. we temporarily indulged the thought of walking all the way to crown to watch a movie, but decided that it was far too cold. we got to the bank, I made my transaction, then we went to CVS, chris ate an impressive number of sun chips. we returned back to my abode, and watched some of a vampire movie, and then Charlie came over and we watched "Velvet Goldmine"
chris left a little while later =( and I felt bad. charlie and I watched "Seinfeld" and avoided all of the other bad t.v the evening networks were throwing at us. we ate some rice and frozen thai food.
then LUCAS AND PHILL came over. we commenced listening to If You're Feeling Sinister (the album) and making a ton of snickerdoodles, charlie and phill (the resident jews) messed up the cinnimin-sugar, and I didn't melt the butter enough, and lucas sucked at making the cookies, BUT these were only minor setbacks and the rest of the process went quite smoothely, and our cookies, kicked tremendous quantities of ass.
Lucas and I 'teehee'ed over to Whiting Lane and smoked, holding out large bag of Christmas cookies. I called Ben to ask if he wanted to hang out with us, but apparently he was going to bed (sorry darling haha). we frolicked about a bit, slipped around on the ice, ran in fear from the chief of police.
then we got into phill's car and the radio was so kind to us, we drove around the center, and other parts of west hartford blasting (among others) :
Bananza (Belly Dancer) - Akon
Dreams - The Cranberries
Dirty Deeds - AC/DC
Riders on the Storm - The Doors
Country music (we yelled crazy republican shit out the windows, compelled by the country music)
Before and Again - Akron / Family
I'll be on the water - Akron / Family
then we made to LARGE mistakes, one was to smoke a second time, the second was to put on the neutral milk hotel CD
lucas and I ended up completely out of minds, and we were blasting neutral milk hotel and singing along as loudly as possible, right near my house, and my UNCLE CAME OUT!! I was REALLY uspet, and I was far too stoned to go home in general, or to deal with that. So I called Charlie and asked if he would be willing to come hang out with me, which he was, which was EXTREMELY nice of him
we walked around until it got too cold, and then we went back to his house, he was tricky and didn't tell me we were going through steele not his street haha. I told him about my plan for the beginning of a movie.
we hung out on max's bed for a while, I almost fell asleep. then we went into charlie's room and listened to music and I collected the books I lent him ages ago.
his dad drove me home, and I gave him a christmas cookie.
But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting, |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|01:18 am] |
haha I'm almost certain I should go to Mills now because of two things my dad told me
a.) joanna newsom went there so clearly, cool people are there
b.) my dad might be moving to California sometime soon, becuase his new company thinks that they should open a California office
can you handle me living in california?
. . . . .
watch the number of dumplings you eat |
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| Of all these weird creatures who lock up their spirits |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|12:19 pm] |
mmmm
yesterday I . . .
called Lucas, and got to talk to him for the first time in foreever we decided that we needed to hang out indredibly soon
then alex levine called me and we decided that he should come over
so he did
and we listened to some music, like the decemberists
and then we went out sledding on my taboggen, which was lots of fun, hahaha I made him drag me up the hill and fell over near the top and I slid back down backwards haha, he cut his hand, we yelled and listened to it echo, we did some tricks, and then for fear of my werewolfishness we ran back inside haha
and we watched, "The Meaning of Life" which was very funny, like it usually is haha, we ate raisinbread
then I walked over in the direction of Charlie's house and met Ben and Charlie, and we walked over to Charlie's house, and Ben talked about wanting to live in the south
weeeee hung out, ben and I smoked, we listened to the crazy republicans next door in their hot tub, drinking haha
then we went upstairs and hung out in Charlie's room, first I think I made Ben and Charlie look at the animals on my butt
and I tried to remember where I knew this girl from, but I really couldn't haha
in Charlie's room, everything had been taken off the floor, but now it was on his bed, I played the Cartigans' album and tried to find the french girls photo site
we came downstairs and I made pasta and we listened to joanna newsome, which I hadn't listened to since the last time I hung out at Charlie's,
we went upstairs to listen to a song by ben's request: "Tweeter and the Monkey Man" which was really intense and good and Ben got to fondly recall his childhood which was really cute oh, and the Tom Waits interpretation of "Hi Ho"
they went upstairs to play pool and I was too tired to try to learn how to play pool or anything so I just curled in a ball in the closet and listened to them play pool and listened to the music that Charlie put on, it was nice, I kinda fell asleep a little bit
then we went back to Charlie's room, Ben talked about how he hates the french language and movies with transvestites,
I wrote a french poem on Charlie's stomach with the flash cards we found a while ago
Il est dans le salon, sous la chaise
Elle est, à la fenêtre, très petite
(He is in the livingroom, under the chair
She is at the window, very small)
then Ben had to leave
and Charlie and I decided to watch "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" and I talked to his parents about the white-toastiness of "Good Night and Good Luck" and then we walked over to my house where we watched the movie until like 1 in the morning and then he walked home and I fell asleep
But maybe there's nothing
up in the sky but air. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|11:04 pm] |
wooooo long time no see
nothing terribly exciting
took exams
apparently did awesome on barringer
made some dumb mistakes in poli sci and art history
fond memories of france, like the techno creperie near the maison carree
talked to mike wurzer for the first time . . . since france
apparently . . . mckee found and . . . read parts of? a notebook I left on a k-o van? she just looked at me and said "I read through some of it, and it seems like something you want back. I dont know if anyone else read it" ummm sketchy haha, I dont think there's anything bad in it, it's just weird to think that mckee was reading it
I'm so stressed out about driving like, everything about it haha, I wanna sell my car and move to a city
lauren and I had a girly sleepover and sewed cool stuff onto our clothes, and watched "mean girls", "camp" and some episodes of seinfeld . . . then fell asleep, woke up and sewed more things onto our clothes and watched "maury", "jerry springer" and more episodes of seinfeld. buddy was quite aggressive and at one point pulled me to the ground and lept on top of me, hahaha, what a cute, but simultaneously scary creature
I'm going to italy on the 26th! I am just so happy about that.
I'm seriously considering going out to California now, I thought it was completely ridiculous before, but now I'm considering. Who knows.
we're all just prisoners here, of our own device |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2005|01:58 pm] |
. . . my over-enhanced emo glam shots
studying is not going well
because I am not doing it haha
the room was full of talk, for anyone listening |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|02:47 pm] |
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and if you ever said you missed me, then don't say you never lied |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|08:02 pm] |
talked to emily about getting "hated on" for being american
talked to alex about, jean-pierre, and hover crafts
went home early
found out about casting, some of it is fine, some of it is weird, we'll see how it goes
haven't been doing any work
sleeping
thinking
I called phill last night and got to talk to him for a long time.
There's a problem, I really need to work on that, I can feel something bad happening.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think |
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| well nevermind, we are ugly, but we have the music . . . |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|08:26 pm] |
. . . and then you got away, didn't you baby?
you just turned your back on the crowd
you got away I never once heard you say
"I need you, I don't need you
I need you, I don't need you"
and all of that jivin around
I don't mean to suggest that I loved you the best
I can't keep track of each fallen robin
I remember you well, in the Chelsea Hotel
That's all, I don't even think of you that often
-Lenny Coco (Leonard Cohen)
I forgot how much I love that song. Until tonight. When I remembered haha.
It's strange the things my memory distorts. I'll remember conversations and their contexts, people's outfits, sequences of events, but over time I'll place people on opposite sides of the room, I'll make them sit instead of stand, once I changed the language we had been speaking from english to french, sometimes I'll remember everything in shades of one color.
I really miss my dad, I cried about it yesterday for the first time since he left. I got a text message yesterday and he told me he was leaving for Hong Kong He had sent four days before. I don't even know where he is. I texted him back, but I don't know when he'll get it. I sent him an e-mail, but it says he never read it. I can't wait until I can see him.
( some things . . . ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|11:23 am] |
mmmmmmmmmmm
soo friday night I
cleaned
made some stuff out of construction paper
watched "Dead Poets Society"
then yesterday
fluff fluff fluff
juls and sarah came over, we baked cookies, they were peanut butter and chocolate chip
the most important thing (sort of) is that we discovered, a truly awesome show http://www.the-n.com/ntv/shows/index.php?id=531&type=video called "South of Nowhere" and it features, lots of hot teenagers, who live in L.A, and some of them are secretly lesbians, and we want them to have sex haha
we had timed commerical break races, except it always took us two minutes, so a lot of the fun was nullified haha, ohh well
we all fell asleep watching "The Baby Sitter's Club" which was, very 90s
Sarah stepped on a cookie, and I was about to eat it and she told me she stepped on it, and I said "One of us will end up eating this", and sure enough it was me, the next morning haha, I can't resist a cookie
In your heart there's a spark that just screams
For a lover to bring a child to your chest that could lay as you sleep |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2005|05:12 pm] |
so my mommy finally agreed to let me go on birth control
I dont know exactly when I'm starting
BUT
I would like to apologize in advance for any drama I may cause during my adjustment period since I've heard and seen that it can be bad haha
It's not me, it's my hormones adjusting to being regulated, it's their last fight haha |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|11:09 pm] |
( d i s t u r b i n g i m a g e r y )
felt pretty well rested
got pol-sci done early
haha rossoff just has to yell "Stop! Leave that part alone! Go draw some fruit now!" at me all during class because I'm "overpainting" haha
Jack came back!
No musical rehearsal!
They had those good swirly things at lunch!
Jack and I hung out after school and went to Whole Foods, tried on granny glasses and searched the vitamin aisle
I swung on the swings and listened to music for an hour, it was lovely
it's wonderful to be here |
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| you're almost home |
[Nov. 29th, 2005|08:51 pm] |
hahahaha lauren and I photocopied our faces
and she kept hitting the "Scan" button with her boob, so right as her face was pressed onto the photcopier and I was reaching under her boob, Ms. Skiff walks by and says "Oh girls, I just want you to be careful with that. You know with the radiation and all. I mean, you can do whatever you want."
more auditions
it was ungodly hot in that school
the Yale Dukesmen have won my heart
and the girl who asked the pretentious question about They Might Be Giants has not haha
Joseph's emerging sexuality is both fascinating and disturbing to watch
I gave my little stats poll to some kids in driver's ed today, and some BASTARD just crumpled it up and put it in his pocket while I wasn't looking . . . subtle, really haha
Jen had some chocolate covered papaya
Talked to Alex Levine, Levitz, Mike . . . Alex and I discussed our humor
my lips are chapped |
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| strange |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|10:40 pm] |
| [ | ♥~*Love is better than a song*~♥ |
| | radiohead | ] |
chris told me today he thinks I would make a good coffee model
lunch with the usual crowd and josh today, discussed the antics of some kingswood graduates
then lunch again with lauren, my raven
jen looked cute
I was very tired, I think there's soemthing really wrong with me haha, I've fallen asleep at least twice every day since I got sick, and I'm still sick and still coughing, I hope I don't have some sort of rare flu that's going to kill me . . . sofly
musical auditions were adorable, I missed the musical
I made levitz carry me from the auditorium back to my bag haha
I was dipping cookies in peanut butter and my aunt told me thatt a girl in Canada was killed when she kissed her boyfriend and he had just eaten peanut butter because she was allergic.
I realized I don't really get nostalgic that often, the last time I can remember in a long time was earlier this year when I really missed last year. I remember I used to feel physical pain when I was maybe 6 or 7 thinking about memories. It's not that I don't think about the past or that I had a bad past I just don't think of it like that. For me time is just doing what it wants to do and I let it for the most part.
 (darkstarorchestra)
A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired and unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
This is my final fit, my final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please
Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please
(radiohead) |
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